And The Band Played On

I went to choir rehearsal last Tuesday evening, only to find out that it was the final one. Our choir was disbanded. The decision came down from on high (or somewhere) that none of the current (or future) smaller campuses would have an actual choir. We'll just have the front line (basically our worship leaders). I was not prepared for that. It came as a blow and definitely saddened me. However, when I examined my disappointment more fully, I had to acknowledge that it wasn't entirely centered around the choir's demise. It was also affected by my feeling of not having fully stepped up to the plate. It's seemed that there's been so much going on, so many distractions, that I hadn't been fully committed or participatory. I kept trying to "get back on track," but somehow the time commitment always seemed a little much, or I was too tired, or something else took precedence. It was like being torn in two. Our lead front liner told us that she was positive that God had already been speaking to each of us about our future direction, because she knew Him too well to believe that it was otherwise. As always, I feel pulled in different directions. All I know for sure is, I never feel more engaged or alive than when I'm worshiping Him. And the only instrument I have is my voice. So, I'll let Him lead.

What The Successful Single Girl Does for Valentine's Day (Weekend)

Happy Valentine's/President's Day! Since it's a long holiday weekend, I'm appreciative. Last night at my new singles small group, we got a different perspective from someone from Colombia. She said that in her country it's called "Friends and Lovers Day." At least I think that's what she said. Anyway, her point was to ask us if it's true that in America it's basically a day for couples. We had to admit that it was. Then we proceeded to discuss what significance the holiday (Valentine's Day, not President's Day) has for singles. Of course we talked at length about God's love.

At work today, there were several deliveries of flowers for various ladies. The rest of us smiled wistfully and congratulated them. One delivery was different. It was a Fed Ex package from Zales. A couple of us joined in to help the recipient open it. We speculated on what it might contain. The recipient opened the package and handed the small box to our other co-worker, while I guess she was looking to see if there was anything else in the package. I asked, "Do you think it's earrings?" She didn't. She pulled out a card. So there I stood with the card, our co-worker had the box, and the recipient had the now empty container. She told the other girl to open the box. It contained a diamond anniversary band. She directed me to read the card. It said something like, "To my dear wife; we made it!" We two non-recipients ahhhed. Not so the addressee. She snatched the ring away, stared at it and exclaimed, "Square diamonds! Square diamonds! He knows I only like round diamonds!" She then began to examine the invoice carefully to determine if the fault lay with him or with Zales. The last I saw of her, she was on their website trying to track down her "correct" ring. I'm still flabbergasted!

I think I'll just go to the Toby Mac concert tomorrow...

Keeping Count

Recently a man in his forties wheeled another guy of about the same age into my office.  The guy in the chair had recently been in a really bad car accident and wanted to know whether or not he had disability coverage on his truck loan.  Side note: I still find it amazing (especially considering that this guy was in such bad shape) that people actually get into a car and drive to the branch to find out something they could easily find out over the phone.  Anyway, as he began to relate to me the severity of his injuries and how lengthy his recovery was going to be (about a year) and how much he thought I'd like to see his x-rays (I declined), I was diligently searching through the system trying to find the aforementioned coverage.  Unfortunately, it turned out that he had not elected to have disability coverage.  Instead, he'd chosen life insurance.  When I informed him of this, he asked me, "Then, in other words, if I die, my truck gets paid off?"  When I responded in the affirmative, he said, "That's the same as with my house."  The he turned to his brother-in-law (the wheeler guy) and said, "I guess I know what I need to do."

He was the second person that week to allude to suicide in my office.  I tried to be as encouraging to him as I could and reminded him that we were only talking about things and that he was important to his family.

I hear so many sad stories, so many tales of misfortune.  I'm absolutely determined to count my blessings, to not lose sight of the good things.  Yeah, the bad stuff is still there.  I'm just going to choose to focus less on it.  I'm keeping count.

A Voice in the Wilderness

Christmas Day at the beach: it just doesn't get any better. We waded, splashed a little, played in the sand, and generally lolled around. I loved it! An incident that day, though, will definitely be etched in my memory.

We were just kind of chilling, relaxing on the sand, when we heard the easily recognizable sound of an engine being gunned. We turned to see a local village idiot doing donuts not too far down the beach from us. I sighed with frustration. My day at the beach was an opportunity to have some time away from the we-couldn't-give-a-flip general attitude in my neighborhood. Now it was being disrupted by this bozo. While I sat there fuming in impotent frustration, a lone woman started walking from nearby us toward the bozo's jeep. I speculated out loud as to what her purpose might be. She just kept walking. A friend was with her, but she allowed her buddy to walk alone. So did all the rest of the beach goers, including myself. The Lone Stranger kept walking. Finally, Bozo noticed, and halted his antics. She stopped in her tracks. When he observed her stopping, he recommenced his inconsiderate behavior. She then proceeded to head straight for him. At first, everyone just continued to stare at her. I guess they were just as speculative as I (and possibly even a little amazed). But she kept on walking. Then, one by one, people started to join her in her walk. None as purposefully, but they joined her nonetheless. And still she walked. By this time she was a little bit of a distance from us, but I continued to watch. Finally, her determination caused Bozo to back down. Slowly he began to back his vehicle off the beach. And still she walked. Then he sped up a bit, and made a less than impressive exit. She stood her ground until she was sure he was really going this time, and then she continued with her stroll down the beach.

I confess, I felt a little disappointed in myself and even a little ashamed. Here I regularly upbraid my neighbors (wholly unknown) for their lackadaisical attitudes towards the general environment and safety of Murray Hill. However, when confronted with an opportunity to take a stand against boorish behavior, I did nothing. It was a definite wake-up call. Like Samson of old, I'll shake myself.

Incidental Ignorance

Whenever people want to demonstrate how unbiased we are, we often start by saying, "One of my best friends is (fill in the blank)."  So, why break with tradition?

One of my best friends is a dual minority.  By that I mean by virtue of ethnicity and sexual orientation.  Despite this, on more than one occasion he's mentioned to me that (in his search for a new house) he visited one owned by black people and it was still "nice and clean."  The first time he said that, it really caught me off guard.  I thought I must have misunderstood.  Since then, he's repeated the comment another time or two.  I find it quite perplexing that someone of his age (who I'm sure must have experienced some form of discrimation at least once in his life) could be so oblivious to the fact that that would be considered a prejudicial statement.

By the same token, it's amazing how many ethnically ambiguous expressions are still a part of the common vernacular.  Some of my co-workers have talked about having a "Chinese gift exchange" for Christmas.  Who hasn't heard of a "Chinese fire drill" or a "Mexican stand-off." When cheated, do we say "I got gypped!"?  Or if someone takes something back from us do we call them an "Indian-giver?"  I could go on.  It's just so easy to be so careless with speech.  It's so easy to not realize how a group can be marginalized or even denigrated by a seemingly harmless word or phrase.  It's so easy to not think before we speak.

I'm going to be on the lookout for the next time my friend makes that statement.

There's An Exit Up Yonder Somewhere

The only thing better than having a nice smooth highway to speed you to your destination is getting off that nice smooth highway.  Assuming, that is, that it's close to said destination.  The problem is, that there are always others who want to get off at the same point!  I guess that isn't actually a problem, per se.  What is a problem, though, is that so many people seem to need a whole lotta prep time to get off the highway.  Now, I'm not talking about out-of-towners.  I'm talking about folks that you know probably take that same exit every day just like you do.  I have one exit in particular in mind.  Though (thankfully) I don't use it that often, the 103rd Street exit off I-295S is a prime example.  It's a very popular one.  103rd is a major east-west thoroughfare. Though these precious hearts know exactly how much roadage they have before the exit, in the main, it still seems that eveybody needs, oh 2-3 miles to prepare to exit.  So, if you are so foolish as to be in the right-hand lane (whether taking the exit or not), you get the experience of two lanes to your left whizzing by at the speed of light.  I'm all for defensive and alert driving.  But it's just an exit!

We Are Not Alone

I'll admit I lean a little toward the anti-social.  I counter that by being pro social networking!  But I digress...

In a universe of one, I could just pull up to my local merchant, (yeah I know it's a contradiction, but whatever) and park across as many spaces as I pleased.  Since we all share this space, I make a concerted effort to park in the center of my appointed space.  Now, on rare occasions I may vary from my usual nearly perfect parking.  In those instances, I'll often get back in the car and do it over.  I figure that whoever parks/is parked on either side of me has just as much right to equal access to both sides of their vehicle.  

Alas, it seems that not everyone shares my sanguine and selfless POV!  In the last two weeks, I've twice experienced the lack of consideration so many drivers display.  Just this evening, I stopped at my local Walgreens for some apple juice.  As I often do, I parked in the middle of three vacant spaces, evenly in the middle.  By the time I came out of the store, a massive SUV had parked on my passenger side.  If I'd had a passenger, they would not have been able to get in without my pulling out first.  And on my Thanksgiving trip to the movies, the same thing happened.  I parked in the middle of four or five empty spaces, and STILL someone felt the need to park right up against me.  It's like some type of cosmic conspiracy!!!  What's the moral here?  Do unto others, people!  And if you misjudge the amount of space needed to accomodate your out-size buggy, do over!