I was recently at one of my many doctor's appointments. While talking with him, I was reviewing a section of my patient history called "Demographics." This section basically describes who I am. Age, gender, ethnicity... But, wait a minute. Something wasn't quite right. Age: check; that's how old I was as of my last birthday. Gender: check; nothing's changed there. Ethnicity: hold up. Since when am I a white woman? I have a certified copy of my birth record and it unequivocally states under race: Negro. {For those not old enough [or historically savvy enough] to know, the term "Negro" preceded "black" which preceded [and to some extent co-exists with] "African-American."} Needless to say, I immediately pointed the error out to my doctor, and we both had a good laugh about it.
Then I reflected on my ethnic characterization as defined by the current culture. To my grandparents, we were colored people. To my parents, we were Negroes. My peers and I generally called ourselves black (neither noticing nor lamenting the loss of the upper case). And, of course, my children's generation prefers African-American (a convoluted mouthful whose day will surely pass as well). The bottom line is that throughout the course of my lifetime, it has never been my option (nor my desire) to define myself as white.
But, what if I take issue with that? Maybe (word nerd that I am) I happen to like the sound of the word "white" better. Perhaps it's a favorite color of mine. Maybe I think that in defining myself as a white woman I will be viewed differently by society, be less subject to stereotyping. I may even think that the culture has no right to tell me who I am, put me into a box, define me. If I want to say I'm a white woman, why can't I? For that matter, why can't I just call myself a man and be done with it?
The reason is simple. Without a definition, words have no meaning. Without concrete definition, standards are meaningless. Language is living and fluid, changing over time. The same can be said of human standards. I personally believe, though, that some standards (and definitions) are divinely ordained. As imperfect human beings, we haven't always had the clearest understanding of what a given divine standard may be, but that does not affect its immutability.
I believe God created people. I believe that in creating us He defined "man," "woman" and "marriage." Just because we, throughout time, have finangled with those definitions to make them something more suitable to achieving our own ends, doesn't change those definitions.
I don't believe that people defined marriage as a union between a man and a woman; I believe God did. For the most part, Western civilizations have traditionally embraced and agreed with that concept.
And, I'm not talking about legislating who people can or cannot love; that is entirely a personal choice. It certainly shouldn't be a source of cultural or civil discrimination and should be remedied where that is the case.
We can enact any number of laws and grant under them a myriad of new rights. But, we have neither the right nor the power to truly re-define marriage. And, at the end of the day I'm still a black woman. Happily so.
